hoping for a puppy

 About a minute after I got back from my honeymoon, I took the most important piss of my life.

 There I was, sat on the handicapped toilet of my office, bent over, hand between my legs, pissing all over my fingers. And then there they were, three seasoned pee-sticks in front of me confirming that I am forchizz with nugget.

It was like my vagina reached out from between my legs and slapped me across the face (splat!) - pregnant!

 I looked down at my stomach…somewhere in there, ten-thousand leagues under the sea was my very own, and my very first zygote.


  1. That is the most disturbing picture I've seen this month. And I LOVE it. I'd say good luck on the puppy but I started at the most recent post so I already know it's a nugget. Not a puppy. My condolences.

  2. The picture of your face-slapping vagina is one of the most horrifying yet fascinating things I've ever seen...